Please Don’t Judge Us — A Mom’s Honest Reflection on Parenting Autism

Sometimes it’s not about the score — it’s about helping him finish the game. When the meltdown hits, love is the only stat that matters.

I never imagined I’d feel like a stranger in a crowd of other moms. But here I am — at the soccer field, the birthday party, the school gate — feeling like I don’t belong.

Not because I’m not trying.

But because I’m parenting autism in a world built for typical.

The Invisible Weight of Judgment

It’s not just the stares. It’s the silence. The small glances. The way conversations flow around me — about kids hitting milestones, joining clubs, chatting back with charm — while I’m sitting quietly, hoping mine will just get through the moment without a meltdown or misunderstanding.

I try to engage, but I always feel like the outsider.

I smile, but inside I’m bracing for someone to ask JoJo a question he won’t comprehend, or for Jay to avoid eye contact and look “rude.”

The truth is: my boys are trying. So am I. But it doesn’t always show the way people expect.

Social Events Feel Like Survival

When people offer us food, JoJo may scream — not out of rudeness, but because unfamiliar smells or textures overwhelm him.

When Jay doesn’t say “thank you” or looks away while someone’s talking, I watch eyes narrow and hear that little voice in my head whisper:

“They’re judging. They think you’re failing.”

At sports events, I’ve tried to let them join. I want them to feel included. But when Jordan isn’t the one scoring, he gets overwhelmed. He kicks, yells, cries — and all I can feel is shame, embarrassment, fear.

It hurts when other parents say things like,

“He’s just being a kid — let him be!”

They don’t know. They don’t see what I see.

That’s why I started wearing a shirt that reads:

“Please don’t judge us for being special. #AutismAwareness”

Not for pity — but to create space. Space for my child to feel safe. And for me to breathe.

 💔 The Guilt We Carry

Sometimes I feel like hiding. Like skipping the party.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve failed.

Not because I don’t love my children — I love them more than anything — but because the world makes me feel like I’m doing everything wrong when I’m actually giving everything I have.

 The Support That Changed Everything

It hasn’t been easy, but we’re not where we started.

Jordan now has one-on-one ABA support at school — all day, every day. That alone has been a game-changer. For a long time, he couldn’t stay the full school day. Now he can. There are still hard moments — but we’ve come a long way.

 ✨ Why I’m Sharing This

If you’ve ever felt like the other moms don’t see you…

If you’ve ever left an event in tears…

If you’ve ever doubted yourself because your child didn’t “behave” the way others expected…

This post is for you.

You’re not alone.

You’re not failing.

You’re carrying so much — and still showing up.

I have more stories to share — more struggles, more small victories.

This journey isn’t easy, but it’s ours. And I’m learning not to hide anymore.