Unexpected Triggers: The Birthday Song at the Pool

It was just a song to them. But to us, it was a moment to manage, soothe, and survive.

Today, I found myself doing what I’ve done so many times before—rushing to protect my child from something other people don’t even notice.

We were at the pool. Jordan was in the jacuzzi, calm, regulated, happy.

And then—suddenly—a group of kids started singing “Happy Birthday” out loud.

It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t for Jordan.

But to Jordan, that sound—the clapping, the pitch, the overwhelming cheer—is one of his biggest triggers.

Without thinking, I jumped up and rushed to the jacuzzi. I wasn’t sure how he would respond. Would he cover his ears? Would he lash out in fear? Would he feel scared and not know how to say it?

I just needed to be close.

And then came the hard part—explaining to the other parents.

Why I reacted so fast.

Why I was watching so closely.

Why I needed them to understand this wasn’t just a song—it was a possible spiral.

Some days, autism parenting is joyful. Some days it’s exhausting.

And some days, it’s managing birthday songs in the jacuzzi before anyone even realizes what’s happening.

If you’ve ever had to explain your child in the middle of something joyful, just know—you’re not alone. I see you. And I get it.