Why Jordan Can’t Go Near a Church Anymore

When fear takes over, JoJo is always there with comfort and calm. 💙 Every child deserves to feel safe — even near the things that scare them most.

#autismparenting #triggersarevalid #mamalovevoice

When I was going through depression, I tried seeking comfort through church. I thought maybe joining a warm, welcoming community would help — for both me and Jordan. I pictured him smiling with other kids, maybe even opening up in new social settings. But it didn’t go the way I had hoped.

Somehow, Jordan had been exposed to a YouTube video showing Jesus on the cross — very graphic and intense, with bleeding from nails and a visual portrayal that was far too real for a sensitive child like mine.

Ever since that moment, the cross itself became a trigger.

One Sunday, while visiting a local church, I noticed Jordan start to panic. His breathing changed. His body was shaking. Then — in full fear — he ran out of the church building. I had to sprint after him to make sure he was safe.

We tried going again. I thought maybe over time, the environment would soothe him. But every time we approached the building, even just driving nearby, Jordan would panic. I saw it in his eyes — terror, not discomfort. And I couldn’t do that to him anymore.

I deleted all the related videos I could find from our YouTube account, but somehow the algorithm still pushed more of the same. One night, I found him sobbing, panting, clutching his stomach. He said it hurt so badly I thought maybe he’d eaten something or had a sudden illness. We ended up at the ER — and I realized later, it was anxiety.

From a video.

A video he never should have been suggested in the first place.

💡 I share this because triggers are real. And sometimes, what seems like a simple symbol to one person can carry deep fear for another.

Parents — please stay close to what your child is consuming online. Even with filters. Even with restrictions. These platforms are smart… but not safe.

And to those walking similar paths — I see you. Your child’s trauma, reactions, and needs are valid. Keep protecting their peace. Even if it means taking the long way around a building they can’t face just yet.